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What
does it mean to be SOBER?
There’s
a big difference between being dry and being sober.
I can stop drinking, keep the substances out of my body, but
that doesn’t take the alcoholism out of my brain. I’m still
“like a tornado roaring [my] way through the lives of others.”
For me, for today, not drinking is just not enough.
So
what is sobriety? What does it take to be more than just a dry
drunk? It takes recovery on three levels: physical, emotional and
spiritual.
Physical
sobriety is simple enough: just don’t take that drink. Some of us
can stay dry for long periods of time, fooling ourselves that it’s
enough just not to drink one day at a time. But the Big Book tells
us that, without further action, the day will inevitably come when
we have no defense against that first drink.
That’s
where spiritual sobriety comes in, giving us the faith that we need
to stay sober one day at a time. Reliance on a power greater than
ourselves rather than reliance on our own self-will is absolutely
necessary.
So
here I am, not drinking and relying on HP to keep me that way. Is
that enough? What about the hostile way I talk to my spouse and
children? What about the obsessive way I project into the future?
What about the fears that paralyze me, that keep me from living my
life? Is that sober
living? I think not.
Working
the steps as a newcomer is often just about surviving that first
year of sobriety. We begin to clean up the wreckage of the past and
start to build a foundation for a happier and healthier future. But
then what? Staying sober for a lifetime requires action and more
action…and more action.
Sobriety
means looking at myself first. It means working a vigorous program in all areas of my
life. I may be abstaining from alcohol, but am I acting out in some
other way? I need to be willing to look at whatever I am doing that
keeps me from the sunlight of the spirit, whatever I am using to
just survive instead of really live.
Sometimes that’s another substance, but sometimes it’s a
behavior that keeps me angry, afraid and alone.
Having
a home group, a sponsor and friends willing to call me on my stuff
keeps me sober today. For
me, for today, it’s not enough just not to take a drink. For me,
for today, that’s just the first step. I have a lifetime of action
ahead of me if I want to stay sober one day at a time. |